Angels

So after I had my baby everyone kept telling me that I had been blessed because Matt is an "angel". OK so maybe he was an angel in the beginning but he's 18 now... need I say more? It turns out I get to experience all the same normalcy's that other parents experience....I thought having an "angel" made me void of that...ha ha was I wrong!

As it turns out, not only is Matt an angel but he loves angels....Victoria Secret Angels that is. Oh boy is he girl crazy...YIKES!! They catch his attention on TV, in movies, and in magazines. So crazy is he that I have to map any trip I make to Target around the lingerie...oh who am I kidding...around the bra section. So crazy is he that one day while cleaning his room I found a torn out page of these angels in their bras folded perfectly in the window section of his wallet...so crazy that he mysteriously ended up with his dad's Maxim calendar hidden under his clock radio... so crazy that he was able to get into a porn website, simply by miss-spelling "Hot Gils". Just when you think it can't get any crazier, he proved us all wrong by subscribing to Sexy Cougars on his phone. UGH!! soooo not only does Matt love girls, he loves older girls and with names like Bustylicious and Bedroom Goddess you can imagine the pictures he was so proud to share with mom. Gotta love his innocence.

Let's face it, my baby boy loves boobs (as he clearly reported to me one day), he's a flirt (you should see him with the girls) and basically he's just like every other man.

I haven't prayed for awhile but boy I am praying now. Lord help me through these years and Lord may there be plenty in my bank account should I ever need to bail my "angel" out of jail.

Amen.....

One More

So I'll be talking about my son a lot in this blog since he is the root of all my humor. He's now 18 (almost 19) years old and I don't think a day goes by that he doesn't crack me up some how. From here on out I'll refer to him as "Matt"...after all that is the name I gave him :)

With the exception of being traumatized early in my pregnancy by learning I was A- blood type and would need the famous "peanut butter" shot, having food poisoning at six months (we had gone to a local Mexican restaurant to celebrate our anniversary and something I ate did not agree with me...I'll spare you the gross details but let's just say I lost 9 pounds within 24 hours and ended up in the hospital getting hydrated), and falling in construction cement glue at seven months (now this is a story that's much better told in person but I'll give you enough to make you chuckle...imagine being huge, falling flat on your back in the glue, and then your caring co workers trying so desperately to get the glue off, using of all things...tissues...that's right, a huge, prego woman looking like a tarred and feathered chicken...go ahead, visualize and laugh, believe me I do), other than these great moments, my pregnancy was fairly easy. I now believe I was given an easy pregnancy to make up for the not so easy life that was ahead of me.

When I was pregnant, all I wanted of my baby was for "her" to have hair and a vajay jay...I got one out of the two plus "something extra". "He" was born with a big patch of hair at 11:15 pm and it was about three hours later that my then husband and I learned our baby boy had an extra chromosome...otherwise known as Down syndrome. Our precious baby boy, was not like all those other babies he was laying next to in the nursery. Our experience had changed and was nothing like all the other new parents who were celebrating that evening.

No, we were a young couple, having our first child, and our happy world had just ended.

And a happier world had just begun...

Blogger Virgin

So I'm new to this whole bloggin thing so bare with me as I'm trying to figure all of this out.

Humor seems to find me in one way or another and I thought what better way to remember all of these humorous events than to publicly journal about them (because we all know we want our journals publicized). I'll do you all a favor and will try to leave the inappropriate stuff out...or not :)

I was hoping these would be stories that because of their humor would stay on the tip of my brain forever however, I'm afraid I have to admit my memory just isn't what it used to be...that or there are just so many of them my sweet little brain is stuffed...like a Thanksgiving turkey. Whatever the reason, I'm resorting to writing them down and sharing them. I only hope that my dear old memory hasn't lost the best of them.

This will probably be like one of those movies where it's present then past then present then past so hopefully you'll be able to keep up with me.
To some of you...these may be like re runs of Brady bunch but, if you're anything like me, you love re runs of Brady Bunch.

And so we begin....